I Should Have Known
by QuickSilver Knight
Summary: From the maker of "The 10th Level" : "Sexual inuendo and crude humor prevent this story from being the masterpiece it could have been"- The Amish Tribune


I Should Have Known...  
  
Disclaimer here is at the end of the story .  
  
Another re-release in order to get the blame settled correctly. This is kinda short but hey, I wanted someone to see it.  
  
  
  
It was 12:01 at night. The judge sat down at his bench and surveyed his domain. [The start of yet another wonderful evening. I do hope that it's quiet toni...] His thoughts trailed off as the doors to the courtroom opened and the circus came rolling in.  
  
First in were the bailiffs, escorting a small shriveled up Japanese man. One of the bailiffs was toting a large bag of what appeared to be undies. Next in came a veritable cornucopia of women. Short, tall, long- legged, etc, all of them were very pretty. And they were pretty pissed off right now from the looks of things. Last in were the attorneys with their briefcases. Christine was a regular on the DA staff but the Defending Attorney was an unusual sight for the judge to see nowadays.  
  
"... I thought that you had retired from working these kinds of hours."  
  
"Well your Honor..." He started, unable to tear his eyes away from the bevy of beauties who were present in the room. "However I have certain _Reasons_ for being here."  
  
The Judge slammed his gavel down in an attempt to quiet the double handful of women who were present and seemed bent on tearing the small man apart.  
  
"That's enough. All of you just settle down" He turned to one of the bailiffs, a big hulking bull of a man. "What did this guy do?"  
  
The Deputy DA stepped forward and answered the question. "This is 'The Great Panty Thief ' your Honor."  
  
"Him?!" He asked incredulously. "He's HIM?!"  
  
"Yes your Honor. This time he was caught. These ladies are all filing charges against this little... pervert. They work at various nightclubs and as stewardesses for 5 airline companies. They went into their respective dressing rooms to find this man waist deep in their panty drawers." This announcement was followed by various comments from the ladies about tar, feathers, and being buried alive.  
  
The Defending Attorney leaned down and said something in Japanese and the old geezer started laughing.  
  
"I wasn't aware that you spoke Japanese..."  
  
"Yes your Honor, I went there as an exchange student when I was younger and found a certain _Affection_ for some things." He said another couple of sentences to the old fellow and turned back to the Judge after receiving an answer. "And although I do so enjoy the view in here." He said with a slight leer at the nearest young lady. "I am going to have to request you to release my client."  
  
This request was met by a frown from the judge, a startled "What?!" from the DA, and a "You've gotta be joking!!" from the assorted ladies.  
  
"Your Honor... He was caught red handed. There is no way that my esteemed college can..."  
  
She was interrupted by the smiling attorney who patted her arm in a patronizing way.  
  
"He wasn't read his rights Deary." He said." My client doesn't speak a word of English. He wasn't read his rights so that he could understand them."  
  
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A few minutes later a tall American man and a very short old Japanese man exited the courthouse talking excitedly in Japanese. They stopped up short at seeing a very pretty long-legged beauty standing at the door glaring at them.  
  
"He doesn't speak American, huh?" She asked in a low voice. "Well translate this: You are a disgusting, perverted, chauvinistic, panty raiding lecher!" She waited for a moment while the man translated and then looked at him expectantly. "Well... what did he say?"  
  
He looked at her with a wide smile. "They same thing I would have: Thank you."  
  
They watched her stomp away angrily, admiring the way her butt moved.  
  
"You always were my favorite student Fielding Dan." he said cackling.  
  
"Thank you Master Happosai... I've tried my best to follow your ways. Come on... I know where the Swedish Stewardesses go for drinks."  
  
With a cackle and a laugh they headed off into pervert legend.  
  
  
  
  
  
For those of you who do not get the in joke, this came to me after watching a rerun of Night Court. It is my interpretation of just why Dan is the way he is. Personally I think that Happosai would be proud to have a student like him...  
  
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ belongs to Takahashi, Viz, and others. I'm not sure who Night Court belongs to but it's all theirs, I'm just here to play in the sandbox for a little while.  
  
QSK 


End file.
